Tuesday, June 18, 2013

I'm not ready for it..

Guess what?  My parents are serious. Someone in my relative told them a “perfect rishta” me for. What is going on? 
15 June ’13- I was depressed as I got rejected from Daffodil Software. I was out in the final round and cannot express my anger to anyone. I just came home with a sad face and suddenly my mom said, “Do you want to go to Bangalore”? I thought she must have some good news related to a vacancy in some multi-national company in Bangalore. Then she said “ladka wahan kaam karta hai” and I was like what the hell is going on in my life? That day, I was so depressed with the rejection that I just ignored whatever mom said and simply went to sleep.

17 June ’13- Finally, I’ve updated my profile on “naukri.com” and “monster.com”, I was actually hoping for some good job offers and I even got 2-3 mails from various companies. It was around 8√≥clock, dad came back from office, and suddenly I overheard something, which in my opinion they should have not talked about it.  They were actually having a conversation about that same Bangalore guy and today they were discussing about his package. Suddenly mom said, “we have just one daughter, don't you think Bangalore is too far?”, so dad replied, “he’s a software engineer and will be great for shivani and I don’t think he’ll work there permanently, he’ll come back after 3 to 4 years”.

My reaction to all this: Firstly, I really want to murder my relatives for this and that Bangalore guy “just beware or I’ll ruin your life for sure”. I mean I’m not ready for all this and I don’t know what I should do? I’m confused and scared. Different people have different suggestions. I will prefer suicide than getting married with some stranger. I don’t know him so how can I marry such a guy? I do not care about his package. I’ll prefer to fall for a beggar instead of marrying him, some Mr. Unknown Richie rich. I’ve so many dreams and I just cannot compromise on them. For me arrange marriage is a big NO. I don’t care what Aditya Bhasin wrote in “The Charm of Arrange Marriage”. Right now, the main issue is that I’m not ready for it. 

Just like I’m stuck in this situation, many girls like me have fallen prey to this vicious cycle. One thing for all those who are going through the same issue, no matter what, never compromise with your dreams, I love my parents too but if they are stubborn then I am their princess, twice of it all. 


  1. Commenting from the wrong side of table I guess. When is any one ready for marriage? boy or girl?

    Yes I would agree that nothing needs to forced on you but being afraid of even meeting some one? If you have your self concept correct you can always say no or decide to meet again or...

    Using matrimony site or relative network are all as random meetings as this one can be. Just keep your wits and be neutral.

  2. It was nice to read this wonderfull blog.. i should keep vising you i think... in the mean while.. spare some time to read this ... it may help you http://insanespeaks.wordpress.com/2012/07/30/love-marriage-or-arrange-marriage-4/

    1. Wow.. Amazing write up gaurav! Especially the conclusion part! Loved it totally..

  3. Looks like you got too irritated with this sudden thing in your life.. :)
    and yea.. since when software engineers are counted amongst richie rich... :p
    good luck for your job..

    1. Marriage is a really big thing and I am just not ready for it.
      Thanks :)

  4. I think that not only family but boy should also understand this situation if their parents said them to marry a girl then they should ss whether she is ready or she want to study further.Give her a time that will not only make your bonding strong but also flow a love and respect in your relationship

    1. I totally agree with you vivek.. First they should understand each other and then they should decide the latter!

  5. okay, I agree it can be a bit of shock when you're not ready for it, but at the same time I think it's okay to hv an arranged marriage sometimes too...If I start writing, there'll be way too much to write about, but for now, just tell your parents that you're not ready for it, and when you will be, you'll let them know...make them understand, and suicide...lol...did I read that word there....I'm sorry to say but ending your life will only make things worse ...Have fun and stay blessed!! <3 <3

  6. Shivani...i dont think parents wud hav forced u for anything ...and its like all parents are scared ki meri beti ko acha boy mile ..ek age ke baad all good guys get commited! Kya galat h ..koi mille bina unknown se thodina shaadi ho rahii h

  7. What i personally think being a boy you should go for a girl whom you love whom you connected. I know my parents will say no when i will tell them that i want to do a arrange marriage but one thing which i feel is that they are my parents i will let them to say yes... :D Nice article..

  8. Yeah for this i completely agree.
    we aren't ready for marriage either.
    i don't know what parents are thinking but in my terms i love to take stand First then only i can think of marriage. Even though i never thought so but for marriage i think we all should be mature enough to think of it. So in other words you could say we are not mature enough :P :D and don't want to be. Because none want their life to be ruined by someone's unknown specially.
    for girls its pretty's much more difficult as compared to guy's as they have to maintain the dignity, respect and orders of their Family that you have to marry this guy.
    but why is that so :'(
    can't they choose their own perfect match and tell them ?? Its that to difficult for them to accept??
    but in my term we should not be depends on anyone on any matter.
    we should take our decision wisely so that in the end we are not feeling guilty for that.
    but yes we aren't ready for this untill we makeup ourself to take the stand :P :D which we hate too :'(