Missing Abigail | Guest Post

GUEST POST by Prateek Singh

Isn't it weird. How a person can be normal, be sane and be happy and try as fucking hard to belong and succeed. And fit in but with all those smiles and dances and dabs wants to fucking shout out loud, wants to fucking explode with everything inside him. Just blow up and cry for hours hoping that something fucking lifts this weight off his chest. 

What the fuck is depression? Can it be medically diagnosed ? 
Maybe. 
Can you see it. 
Yes. 
Can you feel it. 
Fuck yes. 

But then why does it feel superficial why does it feel undeserved. And why does it keep coming back. Shouldn't we find depressed people funny? That they fall asleep everyday listening to the same three songs. Crying to the same three songs. Looking at the same 6 pictures. Telling themselves that they're precious. That they don't deserve things that have happened to them but that's okay it's life. It's what it is. And then maybe just maybe if they lie down at 10:23, they can fall asleep by 3:23. Twisting and turning in their own sorrow. Their own fucking broken being. And If they're really lucky. They'll sleep till 6 in the morning. And not be awoken by the same god damn nightmares every freaking 15 minutes. 

Is this depression? 
Maybe. 
Is this worth being worried about? 
Maybe. 
So then why does it feel like it's superficial?
I don't know.
But don't other people have it worse?
Yes they do.
So I am just being a little bitch ?
Yes, I guess. Maybe.
I don't know .
Then who does?
I don't know.

Ever since Abigail left, no matter how much I want to be the person I want to be i can't. she was the only one I could be anything with. And that's what I miss. That person. That feeling. That belief.

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Dream Place in town | #KOD

Recently I have been to Kingdom of dreams, a dreamlike place in gurgaon, haryana. I went there with my family and it was an amazing experience to everyone of us. From decor, food to concept everything was wonderful. I won't describe my whole experience like this, here a little poetry about it.. 

Grand and huge that fits only in dream

The glitter and gleam

Sparkle and shine of 'culture gully'

All that is fully real seems heavenly

Mystical and a magical place

'Nautanki Mahal' saving grace

Tales of zangoora;

creates a magical aura

Flashback of kishore kumar

depicted by bhola, the jhumroo superstar.

Blend of India's art, culture and craft

Enjoy many more amazing shows; performing art.

Relishing food of 14 different states

Come here for family picnics or even for some special dates.

So if you've never been to KOD then you should visit soon because it's a sumptuous place to have a great time with family and friends. Don't forget to share your kod moments with me here in the comments section.  

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Why Fighting Can Be Good for Your Relationship

I know you must be thinking how fighting can be healthy in any relationship. Right? Well, really it is not that bad either.

The simplest and the first logic says 'No TWO people are the same' hence it is obviously difficult to adjust with the other, but sometimes the feelings are so true and strong that you just can't afford to let that person go. So, if you guys are fighting then take it this way: While mixing two materials the reaction between them could generate heat, like it happens in any chemical reaction. Just try to add some chemistry in your relationship! I hope you must have understood by now what I'm trying to say because I am pretty good with Chemistry and I can explain it with fairly good numbers of chemical reactions too.  

        

My second logic goes like this: If you are fighting with your partner it is not because you want to get away from him/her, well that's because you do not like something about the situation and you have full right to tell them that you're not happy as you cannot fake as well. So it's fair enough to have a disagreement sometimes. Here's a little tip from my side that whenever you fight kindly don't lose hope of getting back together because if there's no hope, there's no way. After all, if you can love, kiss, cuddle then disagreements & conflicts comes along with the package and you guys have to deal with it and sort it out, together.

         

If you guys are fighting then it's no big deal because as my third logic implies, it's good to know the dark side of your partner as well so as to know what extent he/she can go while fighting. If he/she's abusing you then you should stop him/her right away because as per my personal experience if there's no respect for each other then there's nothing much left in a relationship. You should not lose your cool over petty issues and there's no room for abuse or violence. Just peace out, lovers.

         

Now the final one and trust me the most cutest logic is: You should have the genuine perception about your partner and if that leads to some kind of argument or cold war then it's okay because later when you guys talk, trust me that will definitely become one of the best conversations. It is that phase where you open your heart and say things more clearly and even accept it lovingly as you have to compensate for the time you lost where you guys didn't talk at all. Inside, you're dying to hear something from him/her so when that happens you giggle a little, curse a bit, and realize how crazily in love you are with him/her. Well I call it 'sleeping phase' in which lovers take rest from each other and when both of them wake up, they feel fresh and more loving.

                  

So next time whenever you guys end up in some kind of argument, don't worry. Keep calm and remember to keep the flame of hope burning, maintain respect and kick start the conversation again. And tell your partner honestly what bothers you and if you think that will make you look clingy, well that's not. Trying to workout things with your lovey-dovey is pretty cool and if you're the first one to start the conversation keeping your ego aside then you're definitely going to earn some respect from your partner as well. 

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Paint | Guest Post

GUEST POST by Romit Sharma

Whenever I feel low, I talk to God and make wishes

He listen, smile, and sometimes agrees 

In return, I smile, thank him, and quietly say that I love you

I walk through time, space, and vacuum and get what I wish for

I become happy and cherish the blissful moments..

Time moves and I'm not content with what I have

I feel stupid, impulsive, and selfish

I'm clumsy so I mess up

I take a while to realize, time walks away and I keep ignoring and believing in a cloud pretending

I curse myself then I turn to God 

I'm furious, sad, and in agony, I tell him its all his fault and I cry

He smiles and asks me if I really mean what I say

He gave me what I asked for and for good

He then asks me to paint

What I see, the next dawn

I'm scared,confused

I believe good, but not myself

At times I give up , at some I come running for the paint

God gives me all the freedom, all the paint and all he tells me is 

"No matter what decisions you take,what choices you opt for,

You might eventually end up someplace dark

U painted this already, saw it and placed it 

As for the dark, I'm with you,inside you

And I believe in you, you just have to believe in me" 

Then I saw the beauty of darkness, the pain a storm holds inside,

I'm relieved but not calm,

I wish again, I paint again,

I walk through time again, walk within myself

I make good, I make bad again,

I smile, and I cry again

This despair and confusion might last an eternity,this voyage might last forever, 

but, that doesn't matter much as I feel happy inside,

I end, and it all begins all over again!​

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My Platinum Day of Love

You must have heard about the “platinum day of love” in T.V commercials or on any social media channel. However, do you know the story behind this tagline? Well, it is about the day when you realize that you want to spend the rest of your life with your loved one forever and for always. They chose platinum as the symbol of love because

•       It is the rarest element in the earth’s crust, just like true love rarest of rare.
•     It is considered a noble metal, and as we all know love is a noble act of offering trust.
•         Platinum is non-toxic, just like love.

Everyone has his or her own love stories, some lasts forever and some ends with a surprise or a shock. Imagine hearing my voice talking to you as you read this article because I am going to share my platinum day of love with you.

The beginning- I met him two years ago at a party. It was one of my closest friend’s birthday party, so we all were having a good time. My friend also invited him (Aman) our batch-mate but different branch.We glanced at each other but didn't talk. Everyone was enjoying the party suddenly a boy (Stranger) came to me and asked for my number. Just when I was about to react, Aman pulled me towards him. I rested my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around him with the fear of the situation. 

(When I came back home, I was only thinking about those moments of love whole night.)

The second meet-up – It was our college fest when we met again as we were in the organizing team; it was the last day of our fest and Rashid Ali was the main guest who was going to perform. His songs are so melodious and soulful. We (Aman and I) exchanged glances but as everybody was around so we didn't talk to each other. AGAIN! Just when Rashid Ali entered and started singing “Kahin To Hogi Wo”, I noticed we were behind the stage alone and it was a beautiful night, stars were twinkling and the dim moonlight made the whole scenario even more sparkling. For the first time, we talked and danced on those beautiful tracks.

(This time when I came back home, he called me and we talked all night.)

The Proposal – We started talking and spending time with each other. It was Valentine’s Day and we went to Hauz Khas Village, one of the most beautiful places in Delhi. We were sitting near the lake when he started playing guitar and also sang the same song i.e. “Kahin to hogi wo” and proposed me. We started dating because my answer was a big YES! We’ve been inseparable ever since.

(Our love grows more each day. Sometimes things get rough but he's worth it.)  

So this is my platinum day of love, when he proposed because that day we decided to be with each other forever and for always. I Love Us! 

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Indiblogger Meet | #DanceItOut For #Women'sSafety

Few days back, I went to an Indiblogger meet, which was associated with Zee TV’s biggest dance reality show “Dance India Dance”. The meet started around 7ó clock in the evening and I went there with my few fellow bloggers Aditya Bhasin, Ankita Mahajan, Gaurav Chawla and Arvind Mohan. And like any other Indi meet it was well organized at The Oberoi, New Delhi.

After some interactive sessions, finally, DID-4 new judges MuddarsarKhan and Feroz Khan came and they gave a mind-blowing performance. Then they told us about their new concept which they started in dance india dance season-4 is “Dance for a Cause”. Isn’t it unique?

They separated us in 7 teams with each having 20 bloggers. I was the team leader for my group and our topic was “Safety for women on streets”. I chose this topic because it’s really close to my heart, being a girl I have faced many incidents on our Delhi roads. In our act, we tried to cover everything that actually happens on streets.  The judges and the audience loved our performance a lot and we got so much appreciation for it. So many bloggers tweeted for our performance and gave their consent.

Here are some tweets:

"Team "safer streets for women" performing at #danceitout. Superb performance"

"What a great performance about #eveteasing - a terror faced by women in Delhi every single day. #DanceItOut "

"@indiblogger I will #DanceItOut for safety of women. That's paramount issue right now. @ZeeTV" 

"A fabulous initiative by @indiblogger to fight for safety of women. Totally support it."

As i mentioned above that this topic is close to my heart, well here is the reason:  I still remember the time when i was coming back home from my tuition centre, and suddenly two boys came near to my rickshaw and they touched me. I felt helpless because they were huge physically. I still remember the time when, i was in 10^th standard and was preparing for my board exams, so that’s why I got late that day and faced such a shameful incident. Just like I faced this, many women have faced and still facing such shameful happenings daily. And that's why I want to #DanceItOut for women's safety on streets and want to fight for women’s equal right to roam on streets at night. This is for all the ladies who has a fear of going out after seven. India is continuously growing economically but this is the dark side of it where chauvinistic and misogynistic attitude still exist.  

After all the performances, when judges were about to announce the result I actually crossed my fingers because everyone performed really well. All of our team members were sitting together and were praying and suddenly judges shouted our team name #SafetyForWomen, we all went crazy and rushed towards the stage. All of us got Shopper’s stop shopping vouchers and we also danced with the judges. This was one of my best Indimeet ever. Thank you Indiblogger for giving me so many memorable moments. 

A few pictures from the event: 

(Registrations)

(Interactive session with Anoop)

(Hudd-Hudd-Hudd-Hudd) :D

(DID4 New Judges-Mudassar Khan and Feroz Khan)

(#SafetyForWomen LIVE)

(Winning team #SafetyForWomen dancing on stage with the judges)

#DanceItOut INDIA

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Crazy.Stupid.Love

I’m in love, once again. It was very tough for me to realize this but I cannot hide it anymore. I’m a very filmy person by heart that after watching YE JAWAANI HAI DEEWANI, it was so tough to control that feeling. He was by my side, but the awkwardness was there between us. I don’t know why but I don’t want him to realize that thing at all. After 8 long years, they finally met so I guess; if our heart really touched each other’s then we’ll surely be together forever.

“I want to sneak out from my marriage“- This time I’m totally positive about it, that if something was there between us, you’ll be the one with whom I’d wish to run away. 

“You’ll be my extra-marital”- I want you to be with me forever and for all eternity. No extra marital, but I’ll be loyal to you forever.

Love can make you or break you, soon he’s going to start his career and I don’t want him shattered because of me. Love happens but it just needs the right time to ignite the fire, so I’ll wait for the moment. I hope when you’ll come back, everything will be just fine and we’ll be together.

I know I’m an ass, but I want you to tame me. I know I’m a wannabe but at this time I just WANT you.
I know I’m dumb, but I want to fall in love with you blindly, dumbly in all possible ways.

P.S: I love you and I’ll miss you. Come back soon, I’ll be waiting for you. I just cannot think about any other person because my desire is to be at your side.

It’s been a year, I’m without love; but those 12 months were fine, but now without you a few seconds seems like an eternity of solitude to me. Every breath of mine yearns for you, my soul needs you, and my heart is beating for you and only you.

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I'm not ready for it..

Guess what?  My parents are serious. Someone in my relative told them a “perfect rishta” me for. What is going on? 
15 June ’13- I was depressed as I got rejected from Daffodil Software. I was out in the final round and cannot express my anger to anyone. I just came home with a sad face and suddenly my mom said, “Do you want to go to Bangalore”? I thought she must have some good news related to a vacancy in some multi-national company in Bangalore. Then she said “ladka wahan kaam karta hai” and I was like what the hell is going on in my life? That day, I was so depressed with the rejection that I just ignored whatever mom said and simply went to sleep.

17 June ’13- Finally, I’ve updated my profile on “naukri.com” and “monster.com”, I was actually hoping for some good job offers and I even got 2-3 mails from various companies. It was around 8óclock, dad came back from office, and suddenly I overheard something, which in my opinion they should have not talked about it.  They were actually having a conversation about that same Bangalore guy and today they were discussing about his package. Suddenly mom said, “we have just one daughter, don't you think Bangalore is too far?”, so dad replied, “he’s a software engineer and will be great for shivani and I don’t think he’ll work there permanently, he’ll come back after 3 to 4 years”.

My reaction to all this: Firstly, I really want to murder my relatives for this and that Bangalore guy “just beware or I’ll ruin your life for sure”. I mean I’m not ready for all this and I don’t know what I should do? I’m confused and scared. Different people have different suggestions. I will prefer suicide than getting married with some stranger. I don’t know him so how can I marry such a guy? I do not care about his package. I’ll prefer to fall for a beggar instead of marrying him, some Mr. Unknown Richie rich. I’ve so many dreams and I just cannot compromise on them. For me arrange marriage is a big NO. I don’t care what Aditya Bhasin wrote in “The Charm of Arrange Marriage”. Right now, the main issue is that I’m not ready for it. 

Just like I’m stuck in this situation, many girls like me have fallen prey to this vicious cycle. One thing for all those who are going through the same issue, no matter what, never compromise with your dreams, I love my parents too but if they are stubborn then I am their princess, twice of it all. 

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Just a Beginning

      

Hey Guys, I hope you like my last two posts i.e Womaniya and Reservation and restricton. 

I want to share my experience with everyone how i felt when i was writing them. These two posts are very close to my heart.  

I was very hesitated when i shared it with my friends. Two of my friends are great bloggers and i'm nothing in front of them; they are Megha Shrimali and Aditya Bhasin. These two are my inspiration. :) A big thanks to both of you.

When i wrote Womaniya, i was very nervous because of my poor Vocabulary. I miss my English teacher a lot sometimes :P  Even i didn't shared it with my Facebook friends. I shared it with my friend Rohan Vir, who is my teacher who helps me to find out my mistakes and also my first reader. 

So, to everyone who want to write but they are hesitating; then please "Don't hesitate and express yourself". Feel free and write what your heart says no matter how many mistakes you make. After all " who needs a critic to feel good" . One day you'll be a great Blogger! And share it with your friends because those who really care for you will teach you just like my friend. :)

All the best!

http://shivanigoyal3691.blogspot.in/Personal

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